Wackiness as Sport

One of the best ways to bring a little light-heartedness to the competitve spirit is by creating contests that are too silly to take seriously. Even if you get a trophy for winning the foot-powered scooter race, it's just not the kind of thing you'd put on your resumé.

Apparently, this has reached a level of fine art in Australia. Here, from Wacky Australian Sports are some heart-lightening examples:

The Great Country Music Duck Race, Tamworth, NSW. Numbered plastic ducks float down the Peel River to a finish line during Tamworth Country Music Festival

Queenscliff Scooter Challenge, from Pt Lonsdale lighthouse to Queenscliff Post Office, Vic. Riders on foot-powered scooters race over a 12km course

Compass Cup Cow Races, at Mt Compass, SA: Dairy cows become mounts for "jockeys", assisted by "urgers" who help them stay aboard. Second Sunday in February

Millthorpe Murphy Marathon, Millthorpe NSW. Contestants carry a 50kg bag of potatoes in a 1610-metre race. Lots of other potato contests including the longest-peel.

International Kite Festival, Semaphore Beach, Adelaide. A free event showcasing big kites, small kites, art kites, sport kites, kite buggying and kite surfing.

Bylong Mouse Races,27th March 2004 - Bylong NSW. Eleven-race program ending with the Bylong Cup. BYO mouse or race one of the ones provided. Lots more entertainment. Late April.

World Championship Egg Throwing Competition, Taylors Arm, NSW. A thrower pitches eggs 40-metres over the roof of the original "Pub with No Beer", celebrated in Slim Dusty’s song, and the catcher tries to catch it without breaking it. Sunday after Mothers’ Day.

Pinnacle Guinea Pig Races, at Pinnacle, NSW. Sprints and hurdle races for guinea pigs. June long weekend and Easter

Black Rock Stakes, Pilbara WA. A Pub to Port wheelbarrow race that runs over more than 100km! Wheelbarrows may be modified, but must have headlights and red tail lights. A full weekend of fun

Cane Toad Racing, Maclean Cane Harvest Festival, Maclean, NSW. Snails will compete if toads not available. Lots of other activities and displays. Late June

Lions Camel Cup Carnival, Alice Springs, NT. Program of camel races, followed by pocamelo (polo on camels)

Darwin Beer Can Regatta, Darwin, NT. Boats built from drink cans battle it out for line honors off Mindil Beach near town

Giant Platypus Throwing, Nymboida Heritage Festival, NSW. Competitors take turns to throw a giant plastic platypus as far as they can. Lots of other activities. End of August

World Lizard Racing Championships, Eulo, Qld. Held at a specially-built racetrack. The event starts with a lizard auction and features a five-race program.

Sorbent Australian Dunny Derby, Winton, Qld. Enthroned "dunny jockeys" are pulled along in outhouses on wheels. Every second year in September. The festival includes the Crayfish Derby.

The Great Pram Battle, Yulara, NT. Each team of four runners pushes a "baby", minimum age 18. around the Yulara resort’s ring road

Rydges Henley-on-Todd Regatta, Alice Springs. Human horsepower propels bottomless boats along a dry riverbed.

Back to Bowra Festival, Bowraville, NSW. Billycart races, gumboot throwing, Mullins Mail Ride, whip-cracking, one arm wheelbarrow race, egg throwing. October long weekend.